When Am I Done With This Work?
This work can feel like a lot
If you're reading this, it's because you do this work. Maybe in fits and starts. Maybe slow and steady. Maybe it's a vocation.
But soon or later you get tired of it and want to know:
When am I done?!
We've had great conversations with people this week. People who thought they were done and then bumped into something that felt big and unwieldy (and scary) to them.
People who were genuinely happy with their life and had (understandably) no desire to go crawling back into a cave of trauma to splash around in trauma-infested waters.
People who were just getting started and were worried that working on trauma and on their past was a slippery slope.
And really, who would want to do this work if all it does is lead to more work?
That's a great question. And in the follow-up statement made popular by Elyse Myers, I'd love to tell you.
Because it does lead to more work - and also - it doesn't.
The work is there. It's always there. Doing the work doesn't lead to more work. It just makes you aware of the work that's left to do. And lets you know you're capable of doing it.
Our living room is a true Vancouver living room: it came with very little in the way of lighting (why, Vancouver? WhY?!) We've added some, but it's still more of a cozy look than a let's-assemble-something-with-tiny-pieces-at-midnight look.
And the other day, we climbed up on a ladder to catch a spider near the ceiling. With a flashlight. (It was a tiny π·οΈ spider). And with the flashlight, you could see little dust bunnies in the angle where the ceiling hit the wall. So we cleaned it. Then out of curiosity, flashed the light around at the corner of that wall. More dust bunnies. A larger dust wolf. And near the window that we open all the time, an entire herd of dust moose. It led to a cleaning extravaganza.
Shining the light led to the Day of the Cleaning of the Dust Moose π«. But they were there anyway. The first cleaning didn't create them. It just gave us an opportunity to recognize why we were sneezing despite vacuuming and dusting. It just gave us a chance to move them.
That's what this work is about.
So, when are you done?
Any time. And never.
Because once you recognize and clear the reason you're fighting with your partner about the dishes, you shine the light around and realize you don't want to fight about the laundry either. Or who drives. Or how much time you spend with their friends (who are weird, don't you know) and your friends (who are awesome, of course.)
It can feel scary to look at All Those Things π
That's ok. It's a new skill set. New things often feel scary.
If you keep working on things, though?
It actually gets fun!
Because you don't sink into the muck of "holy crap, can I clear this?!" You settle into "I wonder how it will clear." Or "I wonder when it will clear." Or "I wonder how good I'll feel once it clears." Or even "Oh good, I've been waiting to clear this one!" And then you clear it and bust a dance move to I Feel Good (Da-na-na-na-na-na-na) ππΊπΌ
So however you do this work...
Please understand that the reason for doing it isn't to submerge yourself in Trauma Mud forever. It's to feel good. More alive. More at ease. More you. With less triggers.
And whether you do that through meditation, therapy, tapping, or anything else, take the route that feels like it's leading you to More. Good. Please!
It's not about moving from bad to good anymore - It becomes about moving from good to fabulous.
We use NAP and The Black Belt Mind to do that. We like the ease of them and we like the speed of them.
And if you like using those as well, hurray, we can do it together! You can check out our Masterclass on Inherited Trauma to understand more about how this works . You can join up for the next NAP Pod. You can look for the next NAP Group after the fabulous Why Weight? Group. You can check out our videos on the YouTubes...
Just remember that whatever you do, do it aiming in the best direction for you.
Yours in More Good Please,
Dana & Colleen